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Monday, March 29, 2010
Aimless Dreams

Here's another episode of a night filled with endless meaningless dream...there i was again lurking somewhere on this earth, finding for someone. Someone i've lost contact with for almost 14 years , and i only remember her as Bok Kyoung by the way she's korean. Its weird to remember someone whom you havent thought of over so many years and yet you dream of them, longing that some day some how you will meet.

Well i understand it sound so much of the concept of waiting to meet your spouse in this lifetime, but its pretty aimless to dream of that particular friend of mine. Perhaps i dont have a place for her, and i do know im easily tracked down the internet. I just suddenly wonder what happened to her after all these years .

Aside from aimless dreams, alot have been going through my mind as today was the start of holy week. Images and thoughts of what has happened of the past one year flashed back in my mind.
i feel convicted to a certain extent but giving up is difficult.......i wont know how to give up, and i feel tied down by many things that has happened. Being in a relationship that hasnt been working out that well is quite disheartening sometimes. So much that i might not be able to give up at all, the physical intimacy, the longingness of someone being there for you when you needed him, and the level of security you expect from that person.

Or perhaps , i should let him love me the way he will and have said and promised.....so that i may be free from all pains .

I want to hope for your promises... a hope that never fails...